I long for answers....but I trust you.

Over the past 5 years, I've had an array of emotions over the death of a great friend of mine. Some days I've felt sadness...missing him. Some days I've felt anger...how could he take his own life?! And some days I've felt happiness...he isn't silently hurting anymore. There have been many confusing days as well. Confusing as in not understanding why this happened...why the closure hasn't come. Why the pain is still there...even though it has faded. In life, we may never get full answers. It's not only with situations as painful as this one is to me. We may not feel like we've gotten full answers to why certain things have happened or are happening to us. Or why we have prayed so hard for someone or something and it seems like nothing has changed. I've learned to accept the things I cannot change. To accept that Christ is in total control. I'm still learning how to lean on Him fully but I know that if I don't get answers right here, right now...that's okay. I serve a God who knows all. And I will continue to trust Him. My dear friend, Eric, struggled with a pain deeper than I've ever known. I don't know his full story or why he decided to do what he did. But I do know that he was very much loved by family & friends. Anyone who reads this: please talk to someone if you're hurting. There is hope in all situations. In all circumstances. Suicide is never the answer. And you are never alone.