"Go get 'em, baby! You can do this!" was what I shouted to my 7 year old son as he hit the ball field last week for a tball game. What I didn't expect was him coming back to me with a look of anger & telling me quietly "Mom, don't call me baby anymore. That's embarrassing!" Talk about ripping my heart out & crushing it. Geez. My little boy is growing up.
I knew this day was coming but I didn't know it would happen so soon. I understand what my mom has always said about "if you blink, they grow up" now. I'm not ready. Or at least, I don't think I'm ready. I don't want to be ready. I want my son to snuggle up next to me to read bedtime stories, to ask me to sing to him at bedtime, to give me hugs in front of his friends, and Eskimo kisses before he drifts off to sleep at night. I don't want him to grow up. But no matter what age he turns, he'll always be my baby.
This morning I was hit with another "that's embarrassing, mom" moment. I was dropping him off at summer camp and while we were walking up to the door, I put my arm around him for a little squeeze of a hug. He giggled and said "Mom! Don't do that. That's embarrassing." So, I stopped him in the walkway up to the door & got on his level and said "Buddy, you're only little for so long. Please let me enjoy every little hug I can get. You're growing up so fast." He then wrapped his arms around my neck and said "I love you, mom. I'll always be your baby. Don't worry about that. You can hug me & kiss me in the car." I'd be lying if I said I didn't get teary-eyed. Thankfully, he gave me one last hug in front of his friends after I signed him in.
My little boy is growing up. I can't keep him little forever.....but I can continue to pray for & with him daily that God will continue to bless him as he learns to walk in His ways, as he learns how to be more independent. It is written in Proverbs 22:6 "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." I believe that I've been able to direct him well and now giving him a little more space may be good for him...for me even. But in the end, we'll always be close. We'll always be a team. We'll always have each other's backs.
Seeing as just last summer he was still trying to follow me as I left daycare or that he was hiding under tables because he didn't want to be there......he's come a long way. I'm proud of the young man he is becoming. He's smart, super funny/witty, loving & kind.....he's becoming a gentleman and insists on holding doors open for others. He insists on holding hands to pray before meals at home also. Again, tears fill my eyes at the thoughts of these beautiful moments I get to share with my son. And it makes me proud of my parents for instilling these lessons into my life so that I could share with him.
