I believe I live a simple life. Routine life, for sure, but simple. My days are filled with work, motherhood, friends, serving at church, & housework. I'll be honest, I get bored sometimes and watch a bit too much Netflix to fill that time in. Life is not always fulfilling. And I do have unhappy times. But that doesn't mean I hate my life.
When I start to feel the downward pull of unhappiness, that's when I turn to either my journal or my drawings. This isn't something I share with the world. It's my own personal space. So, if I do share those things with someone, you better believe that person is a huge part of my inner world. When I put the pencil to paper, it's freeing. I don't keep a lot of it around for long though. Why hold on to something with so much emotion to dwell on?
I LOVE getting my camera out and capturing memories of the moment. Whether it be scenic, structural, family focused, or group of friends, my camera helps me to capture the moments that mean the most. Moments I can reflect on later in life and thank God for that specific time. It's truly a joy for me to snap shots here & there. It sets my soul on fire. Yet, with the busyness of life, this is a hobby I have neglected lately. It's time to bust out the 35mm that I love so much. (P.S. Yes, I said a 35mm Nikon & it's amazing. I like to keep it old school.)
There are things I am interested in pursuing. I'd love to learn how to make pottery & sculpt my own creations out of clay. I'd love to have my own dark room so I could develop my own photos. I want to take creative writing classes to better my writing hobby. Maybe even take a few art classes to perfect my own drawings. I'd love to learn more about antiquing furniture & making my own soaps or candles. I also love to learn more about dance....& maybe even run another marathon someday (because the Color Run a few years ago was a blast even though my body hurt for a week). My mind is flooding with all sorts of ideas. I need to change my "some day" into "now I'm ready".
But it doesn't end there. My "Life List" (aka "Bucket List" to some) is ever changing & growing. And at times it feels overwhelming but it's my list. And I plan to do everything on it.
Life is full of opportunities. Take advantage of those and live life. The sky is the limit. Don't let life get so busy that you forget about your zest for life. I'm convinced that Satan tries to make your life busy so you won't actually live. We are meant for so much more.
Life can get a bit hectic at times. But that doesn't mean we should ignore our passions.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Bittersweet Moments in Parenting
"Go get 'em, baby! You can do this!" was what I shouted to my 7 year old son as he hit the ball field last week for a tball game. What I didn't expect was him coming back to me with a look of anger & telling me quietly "Mom, don't call me baby anymore. That's embarrassing!" Talk about ripping my heart out & crushing it. Geez. My little boy is growing up.
I knew this day was coming but I didn't know it would happen so soon. I understand what my mom has always said about "if you blink, they grow up" now. I'm not ready. Or at least, I don't think I'm ready. I don't want to be ready. I want my son to snuggle up next to me to read bedtime stories, to ask me to sing to him at bedtime, to give me hugs in front of his friends, and Eskimo kisses before he drifts off to sleep at night. I don't want him to grow up. But no matter what age he turns, he'll always be my baby.
This morning I was hit with another "that's embarrassing, mom" moment. I was dropping him off at summer camp and while we were walking up to the door, I put my arm around him for a little squeeze of a hug. He giggled and said "Mom! Don't do that. That's embarrassing." So, I stopped him in the walkway up to the door & got on his level and said "Buddy, you're only little for so long. Please let me enjoy every little hug I can get. You're growing up so fast." He then wrapped his arms around my neck and said "I love you, mom. I'll always be your baby. Don't worry about that. You can hug me & kiss me in the car." I'd be lying if I said I didn't get teary-eyed. Thankfully, he gave me one last hug in front of his friends after I signed him in.
My little boy is growing up. I can't keep him little forever.....but I can continue to pray for & with him daily that God will continue to bless him as he learns to walk in His ways, as he learns how to be more independent. It is written in Proverbs 22:6 "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." I believe that I've been able to direct him well and now giving him a little more space may be good for him...for me even. But in the end, we'll always be close. We'll always be a team. We'll always have each other's backs.
Seeing as just last summer he was still trying to follow me as I left daycare or that he was hiding under tables because he didn't want to be there......he's come a long way. I'm proud of the young man he is becoming. He's smart, super funny/witty, loving & kind.....he's becoming a gentleman and insists on holding doors open for others. He insists on holding hands to pray before meals at home also. Again, tears fill my eyes at the thoughts of these beautiful moments I get to share with my son. And it makes me proud of my parents for instilling these lessons into my life so that I could share with him.
I knew this day was coming but I didn't know it would happen so soon. I understand what my mom has always said about "if you blink, they grow up" now. I'm not ready. Or at least, I don't think I'm ready. I don't want to be ready. I want my son to snuggle up next to me to read bedtime stories, to ask me to sing to him at bedtime, to give me hugs in front of his friends, and Eskimo kisses before he drifts off to sleep at night. I don't want him to grow up. But no matter what age he turns, he'll always be my baby.
This morning I was hit with another "that's embarrassing, mom" moment. I was dropping him off at summer camp and while we were walking up to the door, I put my arm around him for a little squeeze of a hug. He giggled and said "Mom! Don't do that. That's embarrassing." So, I stopped him in the walkway up to the door & got on his level and said "Buddy, you're only little for so long. Please let me enjoy every little hug I can get. You're growing up so fast." He then wrapped his arms around my neck and said "I love you, mom. I'll always be your baby. Don't worry about that. You can hug me & kiss me in the car." I'd be lying if I said I didn't get teary-eyed. Thankfully, he gave me one last hug in front of his friends after I signed him in.
My little boy is growing up. I can't keep him little forever.....but I can continue to pray for & with him daily that God will continue to bless him as he learns to walk in His ways, as he learns how to be more independent. It is written in Proverbs 22:6 "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." I believe that I've been able to direct him well and now giving him a little more space may be good for him...for me even. But in the end, we'll always be close. We'll always be a team. We'll always have each other's backs.
Seeing as just last summer he was still trying to follow me as I left daycare or that he was hiding under tables because he didn't want to be there......he's come a long way. I'm proud of the young man he is becoming. He's smart, super funny/witty, loving & kind.....he's becoming a gentleman and insists on holding doors open for others. He insists on holding hands to pray before meals at home also. Again, tears fill my eyes at the thoughts of these beautiful moments I get to share with my son. And it makes me proud of my parents for instilling these lessons into my life so that I could share with him.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Connection: The Desire for Unity
I enjoy reading. I don't do it as much as I used to nor as much as I'd like to because...well...life! I could make up all sorts of excuses but I won't do that today. I've been reading "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman off and on for the past few months on my lunch break at work. It is one of my all-time favorite books and I highly recommend EVERYONE to read it...at least once in your lifetime. Every time I read it, I gain new perspective. Things stand out to me more one day than another. It all depends on where I'm at in life and what mindset I take as I dive into the pages for the day.
Today, I read some pages that really made me think. When I opened the book today, I went in thinking "what am I going to read about that will help me become more aware of those around me and their love languages? How can I make someone feel loved today?" I didn't know that it would make me take a deeper look at my dating life (which I've put on the back burner lately because I feel that I need "me" time right now...for spiritual & personal growth). The chapter was titled "Dating Relationships: Should Love Lead to Marriage?".
***Note: this may sound a little like a book report but these are the notes in this chapter alone that stood out to me and I'll probably go back to this blog to refresh my memory in a few months.***
As a single person, ask yourself why you are dating. Are you dating because you want companionship? Sex? Love? Social acceptance? Security? All of those things are great and wonderful but the purpose of marriage runs deeper than that. It is written in the Bible that "It is not good for the man to be alone." So, God made woman. One of humanity's deepest needs/desires is a union of life with another. We desire connection. Gary Chapman wrote "The supreme purpose of marriage is the union of a man and woman at the deepest possible level and in all areas of life, which in turn brings the greatest possible sense of fulfillment to the couple and best serves the purposes of God for their lives."
What is your goal in getting married/your marriage? There are basic areas of your life that you should examine before getting married, according to this book. Intellectual unity, Social unity, Emotional unity, Spiritual unity, and Physical unity.
Intellectual unity....books you read, read the newspaper regularly, magazines, TV shows you watch & amount of education you both have. You should be able to communicate on the same intellectual levels.
Social unity....sports fans, musical interests, recreational activities....social growth ought to begin before marriage. Discuss your self-concept as compared with how you appear to others with your partner.
Emotional unity....this one stood out to me in a big way....feeling loved, respected, and appreciated. Dr. Chapman wrote "To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities, and personality. Appreciation is the inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship." Respect begins with attitude and means that you give the other person freedom to be an individual. I've seen others lose themselves in relationships and then their relationship ends and they are struggling to find their own identity again.
Spiritual unity....this is more than "we go to church together." This is more than your 'church membership' or that you serve every Sunday. This is spiritual growth together. Spiritual foundations are important because they influence all areas of life and unity!
Physical unity....a good reminder that 'sexual intercourse does not create intimacy'. Dr. Chapman points out that 'sex outside of marriage often sidetracks the process of building intimacy and becomes itself a source of great pain physically and emotionally.'
Lastly, Dealing with Scars....the last portion of this chapter that spoke to me on a deeper level this time than it ever had before. When dealing with your scars remember that marriage has no closets for skeletons. The past cannot be changed. Trust your partner to accept you as you are, not as he/she might wish you were. The points Dr. Chapman brought up may hit you hard. Face it and deal with it. If you want total unity in a marriage, "making a wise decision about whom you marry is the first step in lifelong, satisfying marriage."
Now...the time to get real and raw with you. After reading this chapter, I'm happy with my decision to focus on me right now. There are still areas that I need to grow in and I don't know how long that will be but I need to face some things and deal with them. And I'm okay with that. To be able to give my best, I want/need to be at my best. And I'm not there right now. But I do believe God is working in me. I do believe that He is preparing me for something so much greater than I could EVER imagine! And that puts an excitement into my soul. Even though God has not revealed whom He intends for me to be with, I will continue to pray for him each day...prayers of strength, growth, pursuit of God, safety, and blessings.
God bless you all!
Today, I read some pages that really made me think. When I opened the book today, I went in thinking "what am I going to read about that will help me become more aware of those around me and their love languages? How can I make someone feel loved today?" I didn't know that it would make me take a deeper look at my dating life (which I've put on the back burner lately because I feel that I need "me" time right now...for spiritual & personal growth). The chapter was titled "Dating Relationships: Should Love Lead to Marriage?".
***Note: this may sound a little like a book report but these are the notes in this chapter alone that stood out to me and I'll probably go back to this blog to refresh my memory in a few months.***
As a single person, ask yourself why you are dating. Are you dating because you want companionship? Sex? Love? Social acceptance? Security? All of those things are great and wonderful but the purpose of marriage runs deeper than that. It is written in the Bible that "It is not good for the man to be alone." So, God made woman. One of humanity's deepest needs/desires is a union of life with another. We desire connection. Gary Chapman wrote "The supreme purpose of marriage is the union of a man and woman at the deepest possible level and in all areas of life, which in turn brings the greatest possible sense of fulfillment to the couple and best serves the purposes of God for their lives."
What is your goal in getting married/your marriage? There are basic areas of your life that you should examine before getting married, according to this book. Intellectual unity, Social unity, Emotional unity, Spiritual unity, and Physical unity.
Intellectual unity....books you read, read the newspaper regularly, magazines, TV shows you watch & amount of education you both have. You should be able to communicate on the same intellectual levels.
Social unity....sports fans, musical interests, recreational activities....social growth ought to begin before marriage. Discuss your self-concept as compared with how you appear to others with your partner.
Emotional unity....this one stood out to me in a big way....feeling loved, respected, and appreciated. Dr. Chapman wrote "To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities, and personality. Appreciation is the inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship." Respect begins with attitude and means that you give the other person freedom to be an individual. I've seen others lose themselves in relationships and then their relationship ends and they are struggling to find their own identity again.
Spiritual unity....this is more than "we go to church together." This is more than your 'church membership' or that you serve every Sunday. This is spiritual growth together. Spiritual foundations are important because they influence all areas of life and unity!
Physical unity....a good reminder that 'sexual intercourse does not create intimacy'. Dr. Chapman points out that 'sex outside of marriage often sidetracks the process of building intimacy and becomes itself a source of great pain physically and emotionally.'
Lastly, Dealing with Scars....the last portion of this chapter that spoke to me on a deeper level this time than it ever had before. When dealing with your scars remember that marriage has no closets for skeletons. The past cannot be changed. Trust your partner to accept you as you are, not as he/she might wish you were. The points Dr. Chapman brought up may hit you hard. Face it and deal with it. If you want total unity in a marriage, "making a wise decision about whom you marry is the first step in lifelong, satisfying marriage."
Now...the time to get real and raw with you. After reading this chapter, I'm happy with my decision to focus on me right now. There are still areas that I need to grow in and I don't know how long that will be but I need to face some things and deal with them. And I'm okay with that. To be able to give my best, I want/need to be at my best. And I'm not there right now. But I do believe God is working in me. I do believe that He is preparing me for something so much greater than I could EVER imagine! And that puts an excitement into my soul. Even though God has not revealed whom He intends for me to be with, I will continue to pray for him each day...prayers of strength, growth, pursuit of God, safety, and blessings.
God bless you all!
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